Hello reader's,
Today I am going to tell you about the writing that I have done there's week. The writing was about how to fix surface features. Surface features are little bit of the writing that is not correct. We have to fix the word that have to many repetitive word. Surface features are the rules of writing that we use to make words and sentences. A example: thissentsachulymakessen zbuttisrellyhrd to reed.
On the room nine site our teacher put a link to a story ans we had to make a copy to find the end of the sentences. We would have to put capital letters after the full stop. To find the end of the sentences we had to find a new idea.
After we put the full stop's we had to highlight then most repeated words. It sounds better if it done not sounds the same. One of the words that we highlighted is he. We change he with a name that we get to cheese.
yesterday we read through it all together and editor paragraph. we got some people up front to read the story. Xavier, Rinaz and Sean were the people up front of our class room.
This is not my story this is someone else's we just had to fix the surface features. This is what we had to fix:
He kept absolutely still as the footsteps got louder he tried not to suffocate as he laid under the bed he was wondering what had happened to his brother and his family. The man with the knife in his hand stormed around the house. Mums had boyfriends before but we had not thought that they would ever find us maybe he was one of them looking for revenge but why would he come. mum would just move and how did he find us we live on the other side of the planet from where all of mums boyfriends were so how could he find us he might have put a tracker on mum when he last saw her or on one of the devises ‘Hello where are you I know your here you're going to tell me where you're mother is or you shall join your father... in the skies so which will it be death or freedom you have 10 seconds chose wisely’.
This is the changes that I did.
Draco Malfoy kept absolutely still as the footsteps got louder. He tried not to suffocate as he laid under the bed. He was wondering what had happened to his brother and his family. The man with the knife in his hand stormed around the house.
Mum has had boyfriends before but we had not thought that they would ever find us. Maybe he was one of them looking for revenge, but why would he come?Mum would just move. How did he find us? We live on the other side of the planet from where all of mum's boyfriends were. So how could he find us? Harry potter might have put a tracker on mum when he last saw her or on one or her devices.
“Hello, where are you? I know you're here. You’re going to tell me where your mother is. Or you shall join your father... In the skies. So which will it be, death or freedom! You have ten seconds to choose wisely.”
